All the gut wrenching is over – you’ve made the decision to separate or maybe the decision was made for you.

But before you enter into the minefield of Family Law and the warm and tender embrace of your lawyer, just stop and think about the kind of separation you would prefer.

It’s probably not where you are now because you’re feeling anger, even hatred for your partner. Calm down and think about this – anger and hatred are such wasted emotions in terms of time and energy. You can put this potentially wasted energy towards bettering your financial and emotional state and that of your children.

We understand your hurt and that your emotions are probably out of control. You need to stop and approach the issues which confront you in a calm and considered way.

You need to approach the issues which confront you in a calm and considered way.

Not every relationship breakdown has to be fuelled by emotion. In some instances, partners end their relationship on good terms. The hurt won’t necessarily stop. Separation requires a considered and sensible approach. How you split of your joint assets and the care and well being of your children matters. What will give you the best outcome for the next phase of your life?

That should be your separation aim – to put the hurt and disappointment to one side. You know that this will be hard. For the benefit of you, your partner and your children this has to be done.

You need to maximise the assets you will walk away from the relationship with because you need to think about your future and the future of your children. Spending money on legal and other consultants’ fees without the prospect of a sensible result is not a good strategy. After all, every penny you save now is there for you and your children and the future.

So before you embark on the expensive legal strategy of trench warfare, just consider for the moment whether there might just be another, less expensive option for you.

We think there is! We know that collaborative resolution that we recommend is not going to be suitable for everyone. but do yourself a favour and consider whether a collaborative approach to sorting out property issues and the welfare of your children might just be the non-combative, less expensive and more sensible way to go.

It might just be between having more money than less money to spend in the future. Having a more meaningful and fulfilling on-going relationship with your former partner.  This is in your best interests and the best interests of your children.