The media often portrays lawyers as cunning characters, smart but not always with the right sense of emotional understanding.

When you are going through a relationship breakdown, emotional understanding is a quality you need to find in the lawyer you have chosen to represent you.

Emotional understanding should not be the sole criteria on which you base your choice of lawyer. The ability to empathise is important, knowledge of the law is vital but above all you want your lawyer to be professional, business like and to take a no-nonsense approach to sorting out your issues.

You want a lawyer with courage – not crazy courage. But the determination of your lawyer to stand up for you and always seek a fair outcome for you is vitally important.

So how do you avoid hiring the slick shark that may not have, as a lawyer, the qualities you are searching for.

Firstly, ask your friends. They usually, not only a good source of information but a source you can rely on. Despite all the bad things you might have heard, there are many great family lawyers out there who can provide you with the professional skills and other attributes you not only need, but which you deserve.

Second, surf the net. In this modern age most lawyers who adopt a professional approach to running their businesses will have a presence on the net.

So having come up with a short list of potential lawyers, what do you do then?

The net is a good source of information, but you need to evaluate the information that you have sourced. Lawyers like other professionals spend time and money marketing their services. Self-promotion is often the substance (or lack of) so you really need to cut through the back-slapping, I’m great stuff and really find out what makes the lawyer tick.

Make a call to the lawyer and if you can’t immediately make contact then speak to the administrative staff about the lawyer, their level of experience, their style of practice, how they charge and how they communicate with their clients.

Any lawyer worth his salt should be happy to speak to you for a short time to explain what he or she does and how the process works.

Just like going to see your doctor, you need to feel comfortable with your lawyer and be confident that she or she can take your through this difficult and no doubt emotional time.

If you are focused on keeping yourself and your family out of the court process, then ask whether the lawyer undertakes mediation, collaborative practice or other common forms of dispute resolution.

If the lawyer is unable to provide you with information about these forms of dispute resolution, then it is unlikely that the lawyer will be focused on keeping you and your family out of the court process.

Some firms will offer an initial appointment for clients at a reduced fee, sometimes called an ‘initial consultation’. You should ask if the firm adopts this approach.

When you call the lawyer or the lawyer’s administrative staff, find out what information or documents you should being to the appointment. Don’t forget to ask the location of the office and where the nearest parking is.

The value for you in an initial consultation is that you will have the opportunity to gauge if the lawyer is right for you.

Were you listened to? Did they speak in a language which you understood?

So if you left the initial consultation and didn’t feel that the lawyer was right for you, then don’t hesitate to seek out another lawyer for an initial consultation.

Finding the right lawyer is important – you have to be comfortable working with the lawyer on very sensitive, sometimes emotive and stressful issues.

Don Gayler [Gayler Legal – 4124 7100] and Lesley Powell [Milburns Law – 4125 6333] are senior and experienced lawyers. They know what you need and they know you will need special attention. That’s what makes them tick. Don’t hesitate to call Don or Lesley – they can help you through this difficult time.